(Disclaimer: the actual manner in which this event escalated is still being sussed-out at the time of this writing.)Ingredients:
- one Critical Mass militant-biketard rally,
- one type-A cager (late for reservation),
- one white Subaru,
- one cyclist lawyer.
To make, place the cager in the Subaru on a street in Seattle. Setting a handful of cyclists aside for later, take the remainder and conduct a denial-of-service attack known as corking. This will deny the motorist access to the road while an endless stream of cyclists monopolize it.
It may take a while, but if you keep your patience, the driver should lose his. Place the handful of cyclists that you set aside earlier around the Subaru, with some sitting on it, banging on the windows. Impatient and enraged, the motorist will hit them as he tries to back away. At this point, the cyclists should become enraged themselves, smash the windows of the car, and deflate all four tires. In anger, the cager will drive through the corking biketards, running over the lawyer in the process, but leaving him alive and free to litigate.
This tasty beverage would make an apropos refreshment at a PETA gathering, and is guaranteed to raise awareness — although probably not of what you had hoped.
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