help me afford a new bike

If you've been paying attention, you may recall that I've been riding the same, decrepit hybrid for too long — that I'm way overdue to get myself some new wheels.

You're probably thinking that I should just do it instead of talking about it. Maybe you've given up on me, and think that this whole bicycle thing is just a big charade — that I'll never get out there on the dirt with a 29er. Perhaps you suspect that I don't even like bikes, and that I am too respectful of dirt to trod upon it.

Well, I like bikes...and women who like bikes. (No drivel to be found here!)  Also, I am disrespectful to dirt. Can you see that I am serious?

I will put my money where my mouth is, but first I must release my money — which, like Han Solo frozen in carbonite, has been imprisoned in a parallel dimension called 'equity'.  It must cross over to this dimension before it can flow down to The Wrench as it so longs to do, after regaining its liquid form.

What can you do? 

Chatter. Buzz. "Spread the word": If you know anyone wanting a home for their family, toss them a link (right-click, copy link) to this post, wherein they can click here (or on the picture above) to see the official Woods Brothers listing.   It's only been on the market for 6 days.

And, in exchange, I promise to post bike porn when the whole ordeal is behind me.

How's that for a bargain? You flap your gums: I get new wheels and post pictures of Ron Jeremy having his way with them.

Deal? Hurry up and get crackin'. I think this bike-blogging fad is on the downslope.