Kyle, the youngest of my three sons, has been asking whether we have a video camera. He "needs" one because he and his friends want to videotape themselves performing some damned-fool jackass bicycle stunt and put it on YouTube.Not wanting to see such an energetic young boy spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair, I did my best to channel the living spirit of Alberto Gonzales, saying that I had no specific recollection of whether or not we own a video camera and, if so, where it might be. (Translation: If you want to shoot yourself in the foot, go on ahead, but don't expect me to hand you the gun.)
And then I quickly changed the subject: "Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel?"
Kyle had not heard of him, but Erik (his next-elder brother) had. I let Erik describe to Kyle who this Evel Knievel fellow was, and we talked about Evel's insatiable passion for performing death-defying jumps -- each one more spectacular and dangerous than the last.
Erik said that Evel was killed while performing his last stunt jumping umpteen cars on his motorcycle. Now I had no specific knowledge of Evel's death -- and I suspected that I surely would have heard about it in one of the many Darwin Awards pages floating about teh interweb -- but I was not going to challenge the veracity of of that part of Erik's biography of Mr. Knievel.
It took all of my parental strength to silently swallow my wikipedia reflex. It was better to allow Kyle to think, even if for just a moment, about the fragility of life.
The first item on my agenda the next day, of course, was to hit the WP to learn the truth about my childhood hero. I remember being an anklebiter around the time Evel attempted to jump the Snake River canyon. I remember thinking how superhuman the man must be to recover from breaking his back and attempt such a thing. I remember wishing that his original plan of jumping the Grand Canyon hadn't fallen through.
I am happy to report that Evel Knievel is still alive. Not only that, but he announced on April 1st of this year that he plans to make one final spectacular jump. His announcement was met with some skepticism, as you can imagine, since he made it on April Fool's Day -- a day you're supposed to suspect that everything you hear is a prank. It seemed much more likely that Evel made this announcement in the same spirit as Alanis Morissette's hilarious cover of Fergie's My Humps, which was released on the same day.
But Evel, ever the consummate showman, maintains that it's no joke: he fully intends to straddle his spirit-cycle, throttle it up to superluminal speeds, and jump all the way from this mortal coil into the kingdom of heaven, after having passed his Mammon-following ass straight through the eye of a needle -- a feat he hopes will be made possible by an 11th-hour religious conversion with Pascal's Wager as its foundation.
No, I'm not making this up. Death-defying indeed.
What do you say: will he make it?
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9 comments:
Go Kyle! I'll totally provide the video camera (and the first aid.) Maybe you didn't, or just being the parent need to at least try to discourage it, but boys his age do this kind of thing all the time. It's a wonder that most boys make it to adulthood.
Yeah, that's true. Boys have been jumping off of high places for a very long time. As strong as that young male impulse is, though, it's easily suppressed in this modern world by not having access to a camcorder.
What ever happened to doing the stunt for the sake of the stunt? That's way we did it when I was young.
I don't mind the stunts. I don't mind showing off to the world on YouTube. A coctail of the two, however, could get out of hand pretty quickly.
I'm not telling him that, though. I'm just quietly observing how much he really wants to do it. I suspect it really has to do with the fact that the internet has been yanked at our house due to poor academic performance.
He's bored, and he's discovering good, old-fashioned, real-world play. Yet he still won't do it if he can't somehow work the internet into the equation. Lol.
keep on holding the no-network line. I got home today and both bikes were gone, so boys are adventuring somewhere real. Hurrah!
To give my answer to your question, "will he make it?". It's God's decision, not mine, as to weather Evel will make "the leap" into heaven of not. However,The Bible, God's Word says, "if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation." Romans 10:9,10 When I make my "big leap" into heaven, I will check and see if Evel is there!! :)
Will Evel be successful? In part? In whole? Seems one’s bet has the possibility of being hedged. The mere fact that he jumps is finite and measurable. Hence we will know either way. And I will say to that aspect he will be unsuccessful.
I presume the “eye of the needle” is referencing John 19:24, “Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." This reference is not the eye of a sewing needle as most assume, rather it refers to the places on the trade routes where a camel would need to get down on its knees and crawl under natural barriers – a very difficult feat from what I read. My question then is is his reference to the eye of the needle rhetorical or is he in fact going to fabricate a target needle to actually jump through, and if so, will it be of the same difficulty as for the camel? Again, if the jump is so structured, I vote no with even more confidence.
Ah, now the wonderful world of eleventh hour conversions…the simplicity of which is explained by BennetBeauty in an earlier comment, but the actuality of the authenticity of the conversion is the sole domain of the Godhead and thus we can’t know until we too have passed over into eternity. Now all bets are off…we have no way to determine the actual outcome and all losers will renege on their wagers.
And finally, motive of the perpetrator must be questioned. Is accumulation of “mammon” Evil’s inspiration? If so there is no more telling evidence to the futility of such a notion as is revealed in the conversation between Christ Jesus and the rich young ruler in John 19, specifically verse 21: Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." For the believer in Christianity anything which is held more dear than a personal relationship with Christ becomes an obstacle first to conversion and secondly to performance of the Christian tenets.
If the 3 primary mandates of real estate investment are location, location, location, then the equal mandates of Biblical interpretation and study are context, context, context. Hence I suggest that Evel forego Pascal and consider Dr. Ravi Zacharias as a resource prior to leaping off into space…and, like BennetBeauty, I’ll check him out when I pass over…for if he’s not here when I leave and he’s not in heaven, he’s somewhere else…. ;-)
Pascal's wager is emblematic of the emptiness of post-Englightenment (at least) Christianity. If all you need to go to heaven is to believe in a god (no acts required), then you can be the biggest bastard you want on earth, say the magic words, abra cadabra, you're in god's lap? Then anything else the religion says is hot air.
Knievel can be as Evil as he wants, in that case. Of course, ain't no god gonna stop him from doin' no dumb-ass cracker thing, and ain't no god gonna stop him from fallin'.
God is the original loving parent. You love your kid so much that even at the very last minute, after breaking your heart over and over, if your child says he's sorry and really means it, you'll forgive him. That's God for you. For me. And for all of us.
Mom
bennetbeauty, cb, blankphotog, mom...
Thank you for seriously addressing the question. I was hoping that someone would find it thought-provoking.
As a nontheistic, nonreligious humanist, I can only appreciate some of what you said as metaphor, but I think it's really cool to live in a family where such wide differences in world view can be bridged with love and respect.
And, for the record, I think Evel has already achieved as much immortality as one could hope to. After all, he's got a wikipedia page that will last as long as civilization itself.
Any followers of Hinduism want to share perspectives? I know you're reading. :-)
I just got a twitter that he has passed away. Good luck with that jump, Evel.
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