jolly good

If I wanted to be a serious, modern media outlet there are two things that I'd have to start doing. One is that I'd have to phrase things as questions that I'm too timid to phrase declaratively. The other is that I would have to start reporting on the blog itself, as if it were newsworthy, when I've got nothing better to say.

So without further preamble...

Is the sudden spike in web traffic from the UK to this blog a prelude to invasion?

An unusual and sudden amount of HTTP traffic from the United Kingdom started flooding the backwards, jerkwater, podunk blog "Longstinger" yesterday. Analysts at the besieged Lincoln, Nebraska blog announced Thursday that the traffic spike was not expected, and came at a time when no new content was appearing on the blog.

When asked whether the Queen was attempting to use the internets to take away our freedoms, analysts answered: "The data shows that the referer URLs are predominantly searches for one specific article about some bloke named Tim Minchin, famous for songs like 'You Grew On Me', and poems like 'Angry'." Sources from the blog did not indicate why Elizabeth II would consider this article to be a strategically important target.

One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the brits will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new tea-time overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted internet personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground crumpet mines.